The Beginning

I found this blog that I started back in 2011 which got pushed aside after just a one entry so I thought I'd update it a little and continue, because SO MUCH has happened since then. I'm not a writer by any means, so please bare with me!


September 2010,
I noticed an area on my scalp that felt different. A raised area that felt like a mosquito bite that itched and tingled. I made an appointment right away to have it looked at by a dermatologist. I was really nervous at that appointment and scared I would here the word "cancer". The physician assistant took one look at it and said it was nothing to worry about... however she wasn't really sure what it was... some type of mole or birthmark? She called the Dermatologist in and he also looked and confirmed it was nothing to worry about. They even laughed a little when they saw how relieved I was. They made the comment "what did you think it was.... cancer?" I left relieved that day and pushed it out of my mind for three whole months.

December 2010,
The area on my scalp seemed to be getting slightly bigger.... and itched more... I felt like it just wasn't right. Something tells me to return to that dermatologist and have them biopsy and remove the spot. Still I'm not too concerned. After all, they had said it was NOT cancer....

Two days after my 26th birthday I get the call. The PA tells me it DID turn out to be Melanoma, and they were so surprised because it didn't look like it at all. They then sent me to a surgical Oncologist to have a consultation. I go to this appointment by myself. I still haven't told my family. I've always been the type to handle difficult situations on my own, and not depend on others. I was treating my cancer the same way, which looking back seems ridiculous. We schedule a CT scan, brain MRI, PET scan and chest x-ray. Along with many blood labs. I leave his office crying. Two days later I hear that everything came back clear! This means as far as we can tell the cancer has not spread to any of my organs.

January 2011,
My first surgery goes according to plan. A two hour surgery where he removed a large area around where the cancer was (he had to shave some of my hair) and place a skin graft over it that he took from my thigh. He also removed 2 lymph nodes from my neck to test for cancer. If it had traveled into my lymph system that's the first place it would go. More bad news. Yes in fact my sentinal lymph node contained a 2 mm cluster of cancerous melanocytes. The cancer had spread. Once again I left his office crying.

Ready for surgery! My very first time even being inside a hospital

February 2011,
My boyfriend gets me a kitten for Valentines Day and does so much to try to make me feel better. It's time to go back to the operating room. This time for a partial radical neck dissection. What was supposed to take two hours ends up taking four because my surgeon spends extra time avoiding and working around the nerve that gives feeling to my ear. Normally during this surgery the nerve is severed, and you have a permanently numb ear. The fact that he saw this nerve right away, and then took time and patience to work around it makes me very grateful. I have all feeling in my neck and ear. He made an incision from my ear to my collar bone and removed the lymph nodes to have them biopsied. All of the rest came back negative for cancer! He also placed a groshong catheter in my chest which they would use to administer my cancer treatment for the next month. The next 2 weeks were HORRIBLE. I could barely move my neck and there was so much pain. The scar was so ugly, and I had a six inch tube hanging from my chest. I could barely look in the mirror. I just wanted this to be over.

Back to the Doctor I go. We discuss statistics again. I don't enjoy hearing those numbers, but it's important to know the severity of my disease. In my case there is a 68% chance I will survive 10 years, (or something close to that, I don't exactly remember).  I leave his office, but this time I'm not crying. I now know all of the facts and what my challenges will include, and I'm determined to beat this.

March 2011,
I begin my Interferon treatment. It's like chemo but not as harsh. Interferons are made naturally by the body and help boost your immune system. The goal of this is to prevent or postpone the cancer from returning. The first month is hard. 5 days a week for 4 weeks I had to go to the cancer center and sit in a recliner in the chemo room. I was the youngest by far. I had all my hair, and a positive outlook. I'm determined to keep working full time. I want to work to keep my mind off everything as much as possible. So I work 8 hours and then go to my treatment. I'm so weak by the time I get home I go pretty much straight to bed. Walking up the stairs is a trying journey. One step at a time. I'd spend the night having cold sweats and chills, with body aches, just to wake up and do it all over again. They say if you stay active it helps keep the fatigue away, so I do. I run on the treadmill and even lift a little weights. Trying so hard to live a normal life. I want this tube out of my chest. It makes breathing hard. My boyfriend Corey is incredibly supportive. Four weeks pass, I survived the first month! That month would be the hardest since now it's an injection I will do myself three times a week. A lower dose. Good thing I'm not afraid of needles. I begin the injections and start to feel a little better. The fatigue is still there, and will be for the next nine months.

I'm now in month 5 and my hair is thinning a little bit which is very disappointing...after all it's the only thing I have to cover my neck scar...

One month of interferon injections

At this point I see my oncologist once a month and dermatologist every three months. Along with CT scan every 4 months. Life is beginning to return to normal. I pray a lot and I'm thankful for every day. I remember spending hours lying in bed wondering "why?" This of course is a ridiculous question because none of us know... God has a plan and although we might not understand the purpose at this moment, we must keep our faith.