And then it begins...
In February 2015 things were going great. Our "life plan" was right on track. I was in great shape and running nearly every day, as well as acing all of my dental hygiene courses. I was set to graduate in 4 months and already had a job waiting for me. I had an appointment with my oncologist to review my latest scan results, and I was going to share with him our news that we will have to postpone our next round of scans in six months because we were finally ready to start a family!
The appointment was scheduled right before I had to be at clinic to see a patient. I was dressed in my scrubs and hoping for a quick visit so I could make it to school on time. My oncologist was out of town so the appointment was with his physician assistant. I'll never forget the way she told me the news, "we need to talk about your scans". There would be no pleasant small talk. There would be no talk about starting a family. Instead the next 20 minutes were spent going over the results of my CT scan. "Several nodules in the lungs"... "the doctor has a plan". This was the closest I have ever come to passing out. My eyes started going dark and I could barely breathe. She had to run out of the room and get me some water. My first thoughts were that this had to be a mistake... did they mix up my scan with some else's? I asked her if they were positive it was melanoma and she said they were. I would have a full body PET scan, and meet with my doctor when he returned.
Of course I was by myself for this appointment (which I preferred). I messaged my instructor and said I wouldn't be in class that day, drove straight home, and cried.
I didn't tell my friends or family until after my PET scan results since we didn't know exactly what we were dealing with. The PET scan showed that there were only two melanoma tumors, one in the tip of each lung. My doctors plan was simple, two separate lung resection surgeries to remove the tumors and the tips of each lung. Since it metastasized to only one organ there was a good chance that it was done, and would stop there. I was actually relieved after that appointment with him, I felt confident and optimistic. No systemic treatment was needed at this time and we could go back to watching and waiting.
First Lung Resection- February 2015
My first surgery went very smoothly. I had a couple incisions on my side and back from the surgery, and a chest tube draining fluids from my lung. (Removing that chest tube was the most painful part of the ordeal!). My surgery was Thursday and I was back in clinic Monday morning seeing patients.
Second Lung Resection- March 2015
This surgery was a little bit more complicated. He had to remove a larger piece of lung, and then I had a leak in my lung after surgery which prevented me from going home for two days. Recovery was a little more rough from this one as well, walking was difficult and I felt like I could barely breathe for a few weeks.
Remission (but not really)
Throughout these lung surgeries I had been having some issues with my vision. I would see a dark shadow in the upper corner of my left eye that was persistent, and my eye was bloodshot. I went to my ophthalmologist for an eye exam and nothing out of the ordinary was found. After telling my oncologist about my symptoms he ordered a brain and orbital MRI. Everything came back clear. I continued to heal from my lung surgeries and visited my oncologist about two weeks later to have my stitches removed. It was this appointment that declared me officially NED, (no evidence of disease). I then mentioned to him that I was still having the visual disturbances, and he looked closely at my eye. He told me to call my ophthalmologist again because something was obviously going on with my eye. I called my eye doctor as soon as I left my oncologists office and they had me drive right over. (Thankfully when you're a stage IV melanoma patient ALL of your doctors take you very seriously). They did another eye exam, except this time they saw something happening. It looked like something was pushing into my eye from the side, and causing an indentation. He immediately got on the phone with a retina specialist who agreed to see me for an eye ultra sound the next morning.
It seems my NED status was a false alarm. After having an eye ultrasound a tumor measuring 22 mm was found in the medial rectus muscle of my left eye. (Thank you Jenoa for accompanying me to the worst appointment of my life, since Corey couldn't make it.) During the appointment treatment options were discussed including possibly having to remove my entire eye! The retina specialist immediately called my oncologist, and an ocular surgeon in Portland to schedule my appointment as soon as possible.
Honestly, learning about the tumor in my eye muscle was worse than learning about the lung tumors and my initial stage IV diagnosis. I think it was because of all that I had just gone through with my lungs, and then thinking it was gone... and also the fact that this means there would most likely be more tumors... many more.
Eye muscle resection surgery- March 2015
The orbital surgeon that I was scheduled with is one of the top in the country! He thinks he can remove the muscle which contains the tumor without removing my eye, which is amazing news. This is an outpatient procedure at Casey Eye Institute in Portland, so after we stay the night with my in-laws in Newberg. This was a ROUGH surgery!! Far worse than my lung surgeries or my neck dissection back in 2011. Every time I blinked or moved my eyes the pain was excruciating. I had a swollen black eye for several weeks. A week later I received a phone call from Dr. Ng himself (my eye surgeon), saying that the pathology report came back and it seems that he wasn't able to get all the cancer cells. The cells had grown through the muscle and were loose in my eye socket. I hung up the phone with him and once again, cried.
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